An Irishman's Epistle To The Officers And Troops At Boston (tune: Irish Washerwoman)

By my faith, but I think ye're all makers of bulls With your brains in your britches and ass in your skulls Get home with your muskets, and put up your swords And look in your books for the meaning of words Ye see now, my honies, how much your mistaken For Concord by Discord can never be beaten Ye see now, me honies, how wrong you can be Such a medley of people could never agree

How brave ye went out with your muskets all bright And thought to be-frighten the folks with the sight And when you got there how they powdered your pums And all the way home how they peppered your bums Why ye see now, my honies, 'tis nothing at all To pull at the trigger and pop goes the ball Is it not, me honeys, a comical farce To be proud in the face, and be shot in the arse?

How come you to think now, they did not know how To be after their firelocks as smartly as you? And what have you got now with all your designing, But a town without victuals to sit and to dine in; And to look on the ground like a parcel of noodles, To sing, how the yankees have beaten the doodles. I'm sure if you're wise you'll make peace for your dinner, For fighting and fasting will soon make ye thinner.

The British fired first and we all stood our ground Now troopers of courage were there to be found And they scampered and ran while more muskets we filled And they never stopped runnin’ ‘til reached Bunker Hill We besieged them and teased them with fifers and drummers Our militias declared they were very good runners With the sound of retreat all our riflemen cheered And the whole of New Hampshire, they laughed and they jeered

When the exiles of Europe first came to these shores They were met with the Calvinists, Papists, Protestants, and Huguenots Such a medley of people could never agree But good sense, it prevailed, and we lived peacefully But a stamp act and redcoats disturbed our tranquility And we fought a great fight to the best of ability Lexington and Concord is where first we drew blood And where liberty’s banners unveiled first stood

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