Gather 'round the podcast glow, Let me tell you what I know, About a bearded sage in snow, A shamanic Arctic show. He’s no mall-Santa with a plastic grin, No, this Santa’s steeped in ancient sin.

[Prechorus] With reindeer that soar, And a mushroom galore, It’s not your grandma’s Christmas lore.

[Chorus] Oh, it’s the Joe Rogan Christmas Experience, A sleigh ride of fungal delirious brilliance. Elves crafting toys while they hum ancient chants, And reindeer high-stepping like they’re in a trance.

[Verse 2] Deep in the tundra where the auroras wail, Santa brews visions with a crimson veil. Amanita Muscaria, red caps in hand, He journeys through the psychedelic land. The elves are rabbis of a frosty fate, They sing klezmer tunes by the reindeer gate.

[Bridge] (Choir harmonies in Sumerian-Aramaic-Yiddish tones) "Sha-lam, sha-lam, ooh ah ee! Ancient wisdom by the Christmas tree! Baruch ha-mushroom, fly through the night, With reindeer hooves and a star’s delight!"

[Chorus] Oh, it’s the Joe Rogan Christmas Experience, A kaleidoscope of yuletide resilience. Santa’s no myth, he’s a mystic, my friend, With a bag full of truths at the rainbow’s end.