S A N T A C L A U S HOORAY FOR SANTY CLAWS

“Earth has had Santa Claus long enough. We will bring him to Mars.”

The Children of Mars are growing restless from watching earth's cartoons. “They’re having trouble sleeping. I had to use the sleep spray on them. It’s the same with all the children on the planet. Something is happening to the children of Mars! They eat not, they sleep not. Their only interest is watching meaningless Earth programs on the video.”

The Martian leaders go to visit the ancient one. “What time of year is it now?” asks the ancient one.

“It is the middle of Septober.”

“Not here. I mean on Earth. It is early December on Earth, the time of Christmas.”

“What is a Christmas?”

“It is an occasion of great joy and peace on the planet, and for children it is time of anticipation as they await the arrival of Santa Claus.”

“Bah, humbug. What nonsense.”

“We have no children on Mars. They have children’s bodies, but adult minds. They did not have a childhood. I’ve seen this coming for centuries. When they are born, our electronic machines are attached to their brains. While they are in their cradles, information is constantly streamed into their brains and by the time they can walk, they are adults! They never played! The children must be allowed to be children again. They must learn what it means to have fun. We need a Santa Claus on Mars!”

“Desperate problems require desperate deeds. Earth has had Santa Claus long enough. We will bring him to Mars.”

“What are those things sticking out of your head?”

“Those are antennae.”

“Are you a television set?”

“Is this what you want to do to our children? Turn them into nincompoops like these?”