In this talk, I will lean on a decade of experience working for one of the most prominent load balancing vendors and teach you the architecture, how the devices operate, how they're deployed, what their management plane looks like and the access it affords you post-breach. You will also learn how to avoid common mistakes which can interrupt traffic processing, trigger device failures and otherwise give away your presence on the system. While this talk will focus on a specific architecture, all vendors use essentially the same design concepts so the information is applicable across most platforms. Additionally, armed with an understanding of the designs you'll be able to use freely available vendor documentation to hone & tune your post-exploitation shenanigans across other load balancing products.